Gilbert Fever

When discussing the most common illnesses plaguing the 21st century, typical answers include AIDS, the bird flu and obesity. Few people, however, mention Gilbert Fever. This disease manifests itself after reading or watching Anne of Green Gables. Its symptoms include dissatisfaction with the boys in your life, lucid dreams involving dark, handsome men breaking slates over your head, responding to Anne-girl and Carrots rather than your birth name, and falling deeply in love with a completely fictional character. 

Falling for a fictional character poses some interesting problems. If your crush was simply Hollywood’s hottest thing, say the new band, New Directions, you have a shot at meeting them. You can fantasize over shaking hands with Liam Nielson back stage, feeling an electrifying and addicting spark, a short engagement, followed by frolicking into a British sunset while singing “That’s What Makes you Beautiful.” Chances of this happening: almost zero. When you crush on Gilbert, you have zero chance of him sweeping you off your feet and bringing you to his home where you live your days as a contented Mrs. Blythe. Teenage girls temporarily crush over New Direction’s suave voices and god-blessed faces, but their popularity will fade as the girls grow up and find men of their own. Gilbert Fever, however, is not a stage grown out of; the impossibility of a live Gilbert makes him irresistible. If you tell a girl she cannot have Gil because he is fictional, it is scientifically proven she will want him more.

Why would you want Gilbert, you might ask? 

“I have a dream," he said slowly. "I persist in dreaming it, although it has often seemed to me that it could never come true. I dream of a home with a hearth-fire in it, a cat and dog, the footsteps of friends -- and YOU!” 

As Mary Poppins would say, he's "practically perfect in every way." 

Palimpsests, Bonnie and Clyde, Pink Pants, Adele's Future Child and The Beast

My brain feels as if the Manhattan Project did all of their trial runs in my head. And then huge gusts of wind came in through my left ear, and never escaped through the right. So many times has my mind been blown this week, it is blown if it isn't blown. Try figuring that one out.

So instead of telling you why life is quickly careening out of safe waters, I want to share the things that have kept me tethered tightly to the mainstay of my ship.

First of all, I discovered a new word today. It is a beautiful, descriptive, exquisite, brilliant word. And I'm pretty sure 99.5634% of the world's English speaking population doesn't know it exists.
Palimpest: noun. A parchment or the like from which writing has been partially or completely erased to make room for another text.
My life is a palimpsest. I scribble down theories, philosophies, political opinions, what I like in guys, what I hate in guys, what the best way to get home from campus is so fast that my hand cramps up. Before I've had the chance to rest my tired hand, or simply plug in my dying laptop, I have to quickly erase everything I wrote so I can make room for changing theories on life, boys and routes home.
I'm obsessed with this word.

Second of all, I discovered a new musical. Usually I'm not the type of girl to spend all of her time discovering new music on the YouTube. In fact, I'm never that girl. Good music finds me, and when it does, I listen to it. Sometimes I play it, but only if I'm in a secluded room in the HFAC or the Elm's Room of Requirement (a.k.a. the lobby that no one knows exists). This song found me today. I think I listened to it 50 times while doing creative writing homework. Overkill? Maybe... But for some reason, this song twisted its way into my heart and makes me feel happy and calm. Which is ironic, because it's entitled "Dyin' Ain't So Bad." Not exactly sunshine and roses, but still, it kept me sane.

Third of all, I wore bright pink pants today. For anyone that hasn't reveled in the beauty of a similar experience, I suggest you try it immediately. Power comes to wearers of pink pants.

Fourth of all, Adele is pregnant. I don't really think this helps me stay sane, but I thought it was funny imagining Adele belting "Set Fire to the Rain" to her little newborn as she falls asleep. Did you know Adele's name meant "noble" in Spanish?

Fifth of all, THE OLYMPICS are coming up. I ran 9 miles earlier this week and felt pretty accomplished, but watching the world greatest athletes is inspiring. Biggest OLYMPIC news of night come from the land of Jamaica. You all remember Usain Bolt, the most phenomenal, incredible, crazy runner from last OLYMPICS?

You remember? Goodie. So he got creamed in the 100 meter dash tonight, but a man known as The Beast. .11 seconds. In a race that's only about 9 seconds to begin with, that's a pretty huge margin. It just goes to  show that OLYMPIC champions have to fight for the top spot; no slacking off and expecting your reign to continue. Also, they are running so fast it's ridiculous. http://espn.go.com/olympics/summer/2012/trackandfield/story/_/id/8114660/2012-olympics-games-yohan-blake-beats-usain-bolt-100-meters-jamaican-trials.
THE OLYMPICS ARE COMING. GET READY.

So that's why my brain is still firmly lodged in my head at this late hour. If it weren't for these five things, you might be looking at a vastly different scene. Thank heavens for palimpsests, Bonnie and Clyde, pink pants, Adele's future child and The Beast.

Surprise is the Spice of Life

One of my life dreams is to have surprise birthday party thrown for me. This may be slightly conceited and self-absorbed of me, but I love surprises. I would venture to say that I love surprises more than the average person. Again, this may be slightly conceited and self-absorbed, but I've been living in the world of academia for the last couple of weeks, so I feel justified in being a little self-aware. And now that I think about it, school is an awful justification for saying conceit. School should make you more aware of other lifestyles and people. Oh well.

For real though. The element of surprise is one of the best parts of life. I know that scientists are trying to discover more of the basic elements that makes up the earth and it's living organisms. To my knowledge, they haven't "discovered" surprise yet. Such as shame.. It is one of the basic components of any good party, social gathering, really anything fun at all. Surprising someone is just a good feeling.

It's like when you leave for school one day with your room looking like a tornado touched down in it, and you come back with the floor clean, clothes folded and hung up, and your favorite snack waiting on your bed to get you the next day of rehearsal and homework. 

Or it's like when you meet a person that gets your sense of humor and thrives on spontaneity as much as you do.

Or when you thought you lost your favorite shirt, only to find it in your best friends closet.

Or when you are in the living room listening to your dad talk on the phone while watching Dragon Tales, and you hear him say he can't speak in church because his family is going to be in Washington D.C. for the weekend. Ahh... Surprise!! :D 

Or when you hide yourself in your best friends closet because she doesn't know that you are home in Minnesota.

It's kind of like that one time where you were put in charge of the lights at a surprise party, and forgot to turn them on when the birthday girl walked through the door. Moral of the story: you can surprise people in the dark and when it is light out!

Whoever said variety is the spice of life was wrong. Ehhh, I take it back. But I would venture to say that variety is only one of the many spices of life. And when you compare it to a good ole fashioned surprise? Variety tastes quite bland in comparison.

I Don't Want to Brag, But...

Everyone says they have the best mother in the world. It's not true, unless it's coming from one of the seven kids raised by my mom. I truly do have the best mom in the world. If you think I'm lying, well this post should convince you.

First of all: she ran a half marathon a couple of weeks ago. That's 13 miles straight, people. Furthermore, she did it in the rain and wind. I think it would be pushing it for me to run 13 miles in slightly sunny and breezy conditions.

Second of all: she has a second sense for knowing when people need help. It's incredible how in tune she is to signals being sent that 99% of people don't pick up on. So many people depend emotionally on her, and yet she finds time for everyone.

Third of all: she is a lady that tries over and over again if something doesn't work the first time. Take for example our family garden. We have probably tried over the course of half a dozen years to plant something. Most of the time, we plant too late or water it too little, so the yield is pretty small. And yet, we try again the next year. We have to get it right eventually.

Fourth of all: she has made a commitment to teaching her children. She taught me how to read by the time I was 3 and started me on piano when I was 4. Both of these things have had profound influence on my life and the decisions I have made.

Fifth of all: she introduced me to BBC. Where would I be without my memories of staying up late just putting "one more" Pride and Prejudice tape or Bleak House DVD in? And those Pirot episodes are just phenomenal. :)

Sixth of all: she knows which battles to fight, and which ones to give up on. Lost cause: asking AK how clean her room is in college. Winning cause: getting AK to finish Personal Progress and find a job.

Seventh of all: she makes delicious fajitas. I haven't had a good fajita since I came to college, and I'm really craving one right about now. My mother's fajitas are the best food on the planet. I need to figure out how to do it as well as she does.

Eighth of all: she has made our home a sanctuary from the world. You step in, and an innate sense of calm washes over you. So much more peaceful then the hellish hallways of high school. (Awesome alliteration, AK. Why thank you.)

Ninth of all: she is an amazing wife. She supports my father in his calling, work, coaching, and everything else. I seldom hear her complain about his lack of extra time to spend doting on all of us. She puts in effort into their relationship, and does all she can to make it as happy as possible.

Tenth of all: she is one of my best friends. She is a lady who I know will love me no matter what, and is someone I can call regardless of the topic. There are very few people like that, and I love her because of it.

As you can see, I have the best mom in the world. Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there!

Opportunity Costs

I hope you didn't forget about me in my absence. I understand it has been a while, but that is no reason to just go on move on with your life. If you have forgot about me, well let me reintroduce myself.

My name is Anne Katherine, but most people call me AK.

Yes, like the gun.

Oh, like AK is AKA for Anne Katherine? You are so original! *condescending tone*

All sarcasm being set aside, I've had both of those conversations probably one hundred times over the last couple of weeks. It truly inspires me how predictable the first minute of conversation will go with someone I haven't met yet.

But that isn't my inspiration of the night! That would be a lame thing to base the entirety of this post about. No, no, tonight's topic is opportunity cost.

If you don't want to feel a little nerded out by the end of this, now would be a good time to stop reading.

Opportunity cost is a beautiful thing. Everyone thinks in terms of it, but few people realize it. For example: Let us say AK needs to go to the grocery store because she only has one solitary can of Cream of Mushroom soup in her cupboard. She is about to get her amazing and beautiful roommate Ellen to take her to the Creams when all of a sudden, Zac Efron calls AK and asks her if she would like to go to dinner with him. She can either pay for food for the week and have something to eat, or she can go on a date with one of the most beautiful people in the world. Whatever she gives up is the opportunity cost of the situation.

Sadly, this is not a true story.

People, however, are constantly faced with decisions. Do I nap or study? Do I run or eat cookies? Do I run and eat cookies, but not do my homework? Every decision brings some sort of opportunity cost.

At this point of the post, you may be asking why giving something up in every decision made is inspiring. Let me tell you. Humans possess the innate ability to measure the worth of goods or activities in their head. Imagine if I had been hypothetically faced with having to decide whether to go grocery shopping or on a date with Zac Efron without being able to measure which one I found more valuable! The capability to decide what one prefers in a given situation is something I am finding more and more incredible. Agency is a beautiful thing. Opinions are a beautiful thing. Arguments can be a beautiful thing, as a long as Newt Gingrich and his fallible logic is far away from them. I love the ability to look at a choice I have to make, measure the opportunity cost each prospect will incur, and then make a decision.

It is simple, I know. But sometimes it is worth taking the time to stop and smell the roses and appreciate the little things in life. Before you take the time to do so, however, you better think about what the opportunity cost will be.

P.S. Zac Efron is always the right answer. 

An Ode to Freshman Year

An Ode to Freshman Year:

In college you learn a lot of things,
Like time management and the art of cooking Mac n Cheese.
That is a lie,
I never made Mac n Cheese
Or Ramen.

In college you learn a lot of stuff,
Like what parking garages are best to hide in.
That is a truth,
I have much knowledge of on-campus parking garages.
They should have me teach a class.

In college you make a lot of friends,
But then they leave for two years.
That is a lie,
Some only leave for the summer.
Still.
I don't want to say good-bye.

As you can tell by the beautiful photos, I have the best friends in the world. They have all taught me how to be a better person, how to change, how to chill out, how to push yourself, and how to be yourself. It isn't very often you meet one person that does all that, much less many people that do all that.

Also, did you see the music video at the end? Further proof I have the best friends in the world. 

So, my dear freshman year, as you come to a close I wish to thank you. You have brought me much happiness, many friends, and no freshman 15. 

Life is good.

A Night of Watery Cliches

We have grown up hearing the timeless cliche, "just be yourself." That is a powerful statement. Few generations have been allowed such freedom of individual expression. If you want to be a punk, go for it. Valley girl? Right on. The only thing you can do wrong is not to be yourself.

So what if you want to be yourself, but you have lost sight of who you are?

Most of us have also heard the cliche, "When it rain, it pours." Sometimes life pours problems so persistently and so hard that it quickly turns into an ocean you find yourself struggling to swim in. It takes all concentration to just keep your head up out of the water. All familiar objects are drowned, and the guideposts you marked to help you gain bearing over your surroundings are now covered in the water. You frantically tread water, just hoping, praying, you can wait until the sun comes out and the water sinks back into the dirt. Hope. Pray. Hope. Pray. It is an exhausting cycle. It rains harder. The sun sometimes comes out, basks your face in warmth to remind you that you can make, clouds pass, normalcy returns. But what do you do until the water is gone? Sometimes your strength is gone. Sometimes it is just to much.

Water, much like the problems life throws at us, spurs growth. But water, much like the problems life throws at us, drowns out fire. It drowns the spark.

When you reach that point, just keep treading water. That's all one can do. One cannot control the sky, cloud coverage, or the inches of rain that fall. One cannot control when the sun comes out and how long it stays. The only thing one can control is if they sink or swim.

I choose to swim.