Childhood Memories from an ^Almost Adult

Life
By Benjamin Kotey

It takes a day to day to make a dream,
But it takes many nights for a seed to become a tree.

Life is a ladder that must be climbed.
But in every stage,

There are many rivers and battles to fight
And our hope determines our future.

Life is a trip through the wilderness 
And everyone must survive for success.

And without a determination
We can never reach our destination.

There are many roads in life,
But choice

Stands between the broad and the narrow.
But the world is not only what we see

But what we hear
Life is time and time is tide.

We are making an endless journey
But no ladder is without an end

Problems may fall like rain
But every seed has its seasons.


~~~

Today is my last official day of childhood. I graduated high school, left home, and went grocery shopping for myself for the first time months ago. But tomorrow I will be 18 years old. The idea of being 18 seems foreign to me: I won't have to call my dad when I'm on a date at Low's because I'm not old enough to decide if I can handle jumping into giant foam pits; I won't have to have my mom tell my hairdresser that she has permission to cut my hair from 1500 miles away; I can vote; I can even elope! I probably won't, but the point is, I could.

In 24 hours, I won't be a different person then who I am today. But this upcoming age has given me a chance to reflect on my childhood memories that make Anne Katherine who she really is.

I entertained the idea that my mom was an alien for a week, laid under my piano's keyboard when I needed to clear my thoughts, and recorded jokes with my brother on a tape cassette. Lion King hyenas lived in my basement, a donkey resided under my bed who ate my blanket if they hung off the end of my bed, and an alligator escaped from the zoo, traveled through the sewer system and tried to break into my room to eat me. I remember sitting on a circle chair in Hawaii watching girls dance with ribbons to a song about lollipops. One Fourth of July, my baby blanket started on fire from a little sparkler, and some nice lady in my ward patched up the whole with a heart.

I remember sitting on my parents floor when they called us to tell us that Camille was a girl, and not the Timothy that they were expecting; I saved my pretty red and white striped dress for when I got to visit her  for the very first time. Playing with bendy-fox, bendy-lion and bendy-gator on the carpet protector in our living room with Simeon and Christian. Wearing a Chinese outfit for Halloween and feeling Simeon's felt lion costume. Falling asleep every night holding Camille's hand through the crib; telling my mom that it was Camille who wanted to hold hands, but in reality, it was me who couldn't bear the thought of waking up with my sister not being there. Going to D.C. and walking into our house at the end of vacation, seeing all the presents under the tree and knowing that Santa Clause was real because my parents had been in a different state.  Duct taped whiffle balls and family truth or truth games that unfailingly ended in tears. Cardboard noodles, SPAM, pickle surprises. Tag around the main level, hiding Lorenzo in a laundry bin. Locking the babysitter out of the house and Kelsey Parkinson giving us cough drops as rewards for good behavior. "Joseph Smith Hide and Go Seek," "Preach my Gospel," and family trivia. Zachary Tyler. Queen Jane. Percy Jackson. Fielding falling asleep in my arms for the very first time. 6 years later, helping him read the Magic Tree House books. Text audits by the parents where they learn about their daughter's dating life. Sneaking into Abe's room when he was crying in the middle of the night because I was sick of hearing him scream and my parents were training him to sleep through the night. My mom catching me.Threatening my mom that I would quit piano; her responding that it was my choice, fully knowing that I never would.

Becoming friends with Angie because of an offer to bring the croutons to a salad. Going to primary in the Andover Ward for the first time, and desperately wanting Nick notice me as much as I noticed him. Meeting Lexi on the first day of 8th grade and wanting to someday be as friendly as she was. Weight training with Andrea sophomore year and developing an awesome friendship as we lifted and skipped running days. Jenna inviting me to a sleepover at her house for the first time for freshman year homecoming. Singing Sk8r Boi on the monkey bars with Marissa in fifth grade. Walks home with Brittney. Playing ultimate with Ellen, climbing over dressers with Shemaina. APUSH with Grant and Joe, chemistry with Max and Tom. Phil's "tooth hurty" jokes, Jack's Al Gore imitations. Plan Las Vegas at that one park with Marc. Beth's inventive hanger purses. Awkward lunch conversations in Nauvoo with Kevin, Jake and Chad. Pretty and witty Bennett sisters, backstage moments and Caribou runs with the theater kids. Tater tots and eye candy with the best choir nerds in Minnesota. Learning from my roommate's signature dance moves. Rachael's celebration of life. Prolly having well grammar with Brad and Austin. Zeegan and Greg's Iowa-Utah caucus confusion.

Skipping kindergarten, winning my first piano competition, making all-state, being the Witch, graduating from high school, getting Personal Progress, attending BYU.

Sister, daughter, student, musician, thinker, prayer, joker, creator, philosopher, friend, best friend.

This is who I am. I am inspired by the thousands of people that have influenced and nurtured me, laughed with me, and prayed with me. I hope that in the next 18 years, I will be able to take everything you have taught me and start to apply it to the world. I wish to make as much difference on others as you have on me.

To laughing, to loving, to living.

AK

~~~

Proving that Movement is Impossible..

I would like to start with an apology. My last post had lots of bad grammar and spelling issues. I am sorry! I am not going to go fix it though. So when you see I am in the grove of things rather then the groove of things, well, just go with it. :)

Okay so my inspiration of the day was something really cool that I learned. In ancient Greece, there was this philosopher named Xeno. He created an issue that is now known as Xeno's dillema. *People are just so creative when they name these kind of things..* So imagine you are facing a wall. In order to cross to get to the wall, you would have to go half way first. That makes sense! But in order to get to that half, you would have to walk half of that distance. And in order to get there, you would have to get to half of that distance. It keeps breaking down further but you get the point. Think about it though, if you half to go half the distance before you could move but that would be prevented because you would have to go that half first. So according to Xeno, any movement is impossible. 

Now we know this isn't true. At least all of the sensory information flooding our brain for our whole lives tells us that isn't true. But how can you prove it? 

WELL. There was this guy named Democritus. He discovered a particle which cannot be divided into a half. It is called an atom. Perhaps you have heard of it? Democritus reasoned that because you can't split an atom in half, you would have to move the distance of a whole atom and must go the whole way. And thus, you have conquered Xeno's dilemma. 

Okay, so that's just a lot of talk. The reason why that inspired me is because someone philosophically proved something, and then it was countered with another argument. When you keep studying and searching for answers, you can disprove other things that might have been previously proven true. It gives me hope that world issues, incurable diseases of the body and mind, and philosophy proving that man is evil might someday be reversed. 

Today is the 10 year anniversary of 9/11. Since then, terrorism and fear has racked the world. Perhaps one day they will go the same route of Xeno's dilemma and someone will be able to find a way to reverse the illogicality of the situation. It blows my mind the hatred people have for each other. The world needs a modern day Democritus who will step up to the plate and find a solution that no one has thought of before. Who knows? Maybe it will be you. :)

Just a quick plug to my best friend, Angie Roushar. My blog is dedicated to you. ;) Now go write something!! :)

Some pictures of life over the last couple of weeks :)

Word.

And When You Dream, Dream Big

So this post is going to need a little bit of background information before I dive in. As you all know, I went on a camping trip last week. It was an amazing experience and I got to know some awesome people I didn't really know before. There is something about camping and being in nature away from the gajillion distractions in the world that encourage bonding and personal reflection. I'm being so vague though! Let me give you details. :)
On Friday, there was a service project planned for all of us girls to participate in. It was the usual service project; make tie blankets for a homeless shelter. Quick, easy and requires lots of people. We split up in a couple of groups and made cards and blankets while the other group played games outside. It was an enjoyable experience but not initially memorable.
However, this time I got to see the effects of our little act of service. I volunteered with my lovely friend Berlynn to help our leader take the blankets over to the shelter we were donating the blankets to. I didn't know this previously, but the shelter was designed for women and their children that had been involved in abusive relationships. When I walked into the shelter, there were two beautiful brown eyed children that followed the three of us. Their eyes really got to me. They looked so knowing for being so young. I couldn't imagine my little brothers the same age as them having the same look of sadness and wisdom in place of their usual cheery and mischievous looks.
Anyways, we handed the blankets off and our leader asked if we could tour the shelter. As I walked around the facility, I realized what an amazing cause this was. The people that worked here were making a huge difference in the lives of women who truly had been given the short stick in life. I then realized really there was no better purpose in life then to serve others around us. I mean we hear that so often that it just becomes a catch phrase; "Treat others the way you want to be treated," or "Serving others serves God," but who really stops to think about what that means? I didn't!
So I decided that I have a new Inspiration #7. I'm as of right now going to be majoring in business, and I want to use that degree to open a shelter for women who are abused, depressed or have eating disorders. I have very close friends who at some point suffered with all of these things and they all need a safe refuge where they can retreat from the world. Moreover, I want to share my passion of music with them and help that shape their lives. People who are sad and lonely need something small that they feel like is improving in their life. What better thing to improve then musical ability? It's so easy to track progress and music touches the soul unlike any other thing.
Obviously there are ten million things I need to work out. Money, time, balancing a family, all of that will need to fall into place. Anyways, leave comments if you have any ideas on how to make this dream a reality or on what your dream is. Love all of you, and may you all find something to keep you inspired.
Also, if you feel alone, know that Jesus Christ has felt everything. EVER. You are never alone.

Anne Katherine

Title of this post credited to one of my favorite songs, Dream Big. Listen Here :)

Hey Now, Hey Now...

This is what dreams are made of! :D

Thank you Lizzie McGuire.

Inspiration #2. There is so much potential in daydreaming. Have you ever had a complete conversation with 

someone in your head, and then went back and did it again this time saying different things? I've been doing it all the time! I've been working a lot this summer which has given me ample time to think about the people in my life and everything I want the future to be. I'm in the awkward post high school graduate - pre college student stage where I'm old enough to claim responsibility for all of my mistakes, but not quite old enough to be considered a responsible adult. It's a rough transition! So this summer I've spent a lot of time reflecting on the amazing friendships I've enjoyed over the last 17 years, and then even more time thinking about all the potential people I will meet and college, and what type of person I want to be and who I want to be friends with and well, you get the point. :)

So this brings me back to daydreaming. I've thought so much about how my life is going to change and created so many fictional characters to fill my future, and the second I step into the college scene, all of the things I think college is going to be is going to change and all of those fictional characters will be left in the dust as I make new friends.

Why do people daydream then?! I don't know! I just know I do, and most often times, those dreams of what I expect the future to be give me the excitement I need to accept that life changes. I love dreaming. And I love the contrast of dreams and the thoughts you actually take seriously.

And hey. Why not dream up the perfect man to take you on perfect dates while you're cleaning carpets and folding laundry? It sure makes work more interesting. :):)

Happy dreaming!

P.S. Here is an AWESOME article about the benefits of daydreaming.
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=50416