Garfield, Sprite, and a Little of Everything Else

Once upon a time there was a princess named Anne Katherine. She wanted three things desperately with all of her heart. First of all, she really wanted a scholarship for school her sophomore year. Her parents, the King and Queen, were very helpful in paying for college, but she knew she needed to contribute. So she worked very hard in school and wrote lots of papers with happy endings and studied painting, horseback riding, diplomacy, and how-to-ward-off-witches 101 very hard. Anne Katherine loved to sing. She sang all day, every day. Usually it was High School Musical which sometimes her roommates got sick of. But they were nice about it and would counter it with their own songs. The princess sang so much because one of her deepest desires was to get into her school’s music education program. She knew only 12 people got in every year, so she practiced her Italian love songs every day. The other thing Princess AK really wanted was a handsome young prince to come into her life. It wasn’t like she was boy deprived; she had many amazing boys she loved that she had met at her school. However, she needed someone to take her to dinner a couple times a week because she was sick of eating sandwiches for lunch and dinner every day. There are only so many times you can eat turkey and cheese and expect it to still taste delicious. But the princess knew she had been spoiled at home where her mom made her food every day, and so she tried to appreciate what she had been given. Also, she wanted a handsome young prince to help her with her Calc class she was thinking about taking next semester. It intimidated her, and she knew if she was going to take it, she would need a lot of help. She met a guy at a dance last weekend that she really liked, but before the end of the dance, she was swept away by her roommate and left before midnight. So after that dance, she never saw him again.

Once upon a time there was another girl named Ellen. She was Anne Katherine’s roommate and took very good care of Anne Katherine when she got sick. Anne Katherine really appreciated that about Ellen and loved her very much.

Once upon another time there was a guy named Herman Cain. Anne Katherine thought he was funny and funny that America was rooting for the CEO of Godfather’s Pizza. Once she went to Godfather’s Pizza when she was a child for her birthday. They gave her a giant Garfield doll. But hey, if you gave every starving child a plush Garfield and instigated the 9-9-9 plan, world hunger would be solved. Right? Right.

I'm thinking that Princess Anne Katherine could run for president if she wanted to. After all, she's come up with this brilliant idea called the 1-1-1, where each person gets one scholarship, one admittance to the program of their choice, and one handsome prince. Also, she used to be the CEO of Sprite. Clearly, she is qualified.