Disney Princess Cynicism

Prince Charming: noun. A. A handsome man who sweeps a lady off of her feet and lives happily ever. I heard they tried to place a picture of Prince Charming in the dictionary next to his definition, but Webster couldn’t actually find one to photograph.  They haven’t realized it’s because he doesn’t exist.

                My Disney princess infused childhood makes me cynical of the “and the lived happily ever after” theory. Cinderella was chased down by her prince after her carriage turned into a pumpkin. Ariel sold her soul to a witch in order to seduce a man she had only seen via bronze statue. Rapunzel ran away from her mom with a convict that attempted to smolder her. Prince Charming may work for girls with proportionally wrong bodies and lyrical singing voices, but that’s not reality.

                Disney, Jane Austen, throw a little Teenage Dream in there, and the all too allusive Prince Charming is portrayed as temporarily playing hide and go seek, just waiting for you to look in your dryer and find him waiting there for him. In case you haven’t checked that spot yet, I can promise you he isn’t there.

                My roommate has a vase to put flowers in, but she actually has never received flowers. There’s a little rubber ball occupying it instead.  She can wait for Prince Charming. She can look under the bed and even in the fridge, but he’s not there.

                For all of you optimists out there, hang on. I’m getting to the point.

                Sure I’m cynical of their existence, but I don’t see the lack of Prince Charming’s in the world being a problem. Girls have been taught to hold out for the perfect guy- one who will bring flowers on a special occasion, never forget to call and can bench press at least 200 lbs. Let’s get real for a second though; I would hate dating Ken almost as much as I would hate being Barbie. The whole point of having a friendship or relationship is to grow together. People are never going to be perfect, no matter how much you groom them. There are plenty of guys, however, that are determined to do what’s right and become better.

                I’m not going to lie and say I know what it’s like to be in love. I do, however, know what it’s like to have extreme respect for a guy. I appreciate the boys in my life who are consistently there for me, and setting an example for me. I guess what I’m trying to say tonight is I am grateful for the guys in my life. So if you are one of them, thank you.

Blue Suede Shoes

Merry ChristmaseveChristmasNewyearseveNewyears! Yes, that is a word in the dictionary. Look it up, I dare you. I hope whatever celebrations you participated in over the last few weeks were peaceful and enjoyable. Mine definitely were! I seem to like numbering off things that happened or lessons learned, so I suppose I will again right now that give a recap of my break.

1. I went to Ohio for Christmas to spend time with my family, grandparents, cousins and aunt and uncle. What I learned: My grandma was born with a tooth coming out of the roof of her mouth and my grandpa went to Homecoming his senior year of college with the Homecoming queen; ankles swollen up to the size of Texas don't fit well in heels; (common sense, but the lesson still learned,) when playing ping-pong, screaming at your opponent every time they try to hit the ball can increase chances of success, and Santa can consistently deliver presents to the right state. 
2. I met Chuck E. Cheese. Lesson learned: Sometimes childhood dreams do come true. Also, his favorite dance is the cupid shuffle. 
3. I watched the Muppet Movie. If you haven't gone to see this movie, drop everything and go and watch it. For real. Many a people think they are too old or cool or mature or precocious for talking muppets with unbelievably unrealistic facial features, accents, and relationships. I mean in real life, a frog and a pig simply cannot be married. Most bi-species relationships don't work. (That's my common sense coming out again.) But in this movie, everything is possible. Lesson learned: I don't really know what I learned from this movie that you would benefit from me sharing. So you should probably go watch it.
4. I played a very long game of Life with my family. Lesson learned: when the 6 year old demands to be banker for the entirety of the game, expect to have the game last about as long as an actual life.
5. On a tad more serious note, celebrating the birth of the Savior is a sure-fire way to invite added happiness and peace into one's life. Without him, I would have little knowledge of who I am or why I'm here. With him, I know where I'm going and how to get there. Once you have that figured out, everything else seems to fall into place. Truly developing a relationship with Him will not bring immunity to life's temptations and trials, but His strength makes all things manageable and worthwhile.

So, that's about it. To end the year, I've included a website with some of the most stunning pictures taken in 2011. Click Right Here!

May the new year bring happiness, peace and wholeness to all. 

Love, 

AK

P.S. Story of My Life. And probably yours, too. You should probably click on that link...

P.P.S. The title of this blog is another one of my favorite Christmas traditions. Basically, my dad comes up with really... unique riddles that us kids have to figure out before we can look at the tree on Christmas morning. One of this year's riddles was: What is the type of shoe that reflects it's mood accurately when stepped on? The answer: Blue Suede Shoes. I forgot to tell you earlier! 

Have a GREAT day!

Egg Nog Ice Cream... Awk.

Tonight I had the ultimate dilemma: To sleep or not to sleep, that was the question. Let me explain...

Well this week is finals week. I've had four finals in the last two days, and when I came home tonight, I was exhausted. So at about six, I decided to take a nap. I slept until 7:30, an then my roommates came in and tried to force me out of bed so I would be able to fall asleep later tonight. I thought I was really tired and would be able to sleep through the night. I was wrong.

I woke up about half an hour ago to an extremely hot body (temp wise :) ) and delightful laughter coming out of my kitchen. I tried to go back to sleep, and failed. I got water and shed some blankets. Then I tried to go back to sleep, and failed. I put a pillow over my face, tried to go back to sleep, and failed. I counted sheep, tried to go back to sleep, and failed. I went through all of the elements according to mass number in my head, tired to go back to sleep, and failed. That's a lie, I didn't do that. But I just thought of that and  had I have thought of that half an hour ago, it probably would have put me to sleep.

So now it's 10:30 and I just took a four hour nap. So, if anyone is still up at like three this morning, you can give me a call. Because I probably still will be up, memorizing the periodic table, trying to get me to sleep.

My roommate is drinking Sunkist before she goes to sleep. This is ironic because she was the one who tried to get me out of bed.

My other roommate really wants me to talk about her. SO, her name is Rachael Davies. She is blonde and being OCD about her studying and reading our whole physical science book in three days. I think this is a dumb idea, but it's probably more entertaining then making hundreds of flashcards. Also, I have her for Christmas Secret Santa! Except now that I think about it, none of it is really secret. Hence me posting who I have on the internet. Anyways, she is going to get the best Christmas present of her life from me! So Rach, gf, be prepared.

Okay, my favorite part of Christmas tonight is people buying egg nog ice cream from the Creamery. I think this is disgusting and funny at the same time. Some people honestly spend $5 on EGG NOG ice cream. Think of all the other things you could get with $5! You could get 5 episodes of Pretty Little Liars, 5 matchbox cars, 5 packs of gum, a late testing fee from the Testing Center, 2 loafs of bread, or a partridge in a pear tree. Any of those would be a better way to spend money then getting egg nog ice cream. I'm clearly not judging these super weird people though. I'm over it!

Here is my favorite Christmas song right now. It's brilliant.

Things I Should Have Learned Years Ago... With a Dash of Christmas Lights

Today is a very important day. This is where if I could hear you, I am sure you would be asking "Why? Please tell me!" So I will tell you. First of all, in 1980, John Lennon was shot. Second of all, in 1941, the United States declared war on Japan. Third of all, the Bears beat the Redskins 73-0 in an NFL Championship game back in 1940. These are all very important things. There's another reason today is important though... Drumroll please.... I have officially finished classes for my first semester of college! This is what I have learned from my first four months of living away from home:

1. The perfect turkey-cheese ratio on a sandwich is 3:1. Now that I know this, my culinary skills have indeed improved. People come all over the Heritage complex to eat one of my delectable sandwiches. 
2. If you are one of those weird people who work their best under extreme levels of stress, you really need to get that checked out. And probably fixed.
3. The best way to get a guy to stop hitting on you in the middle of class is to pull up facebook on your computer and start stalking all of your most attractive guy friends. 
4. Life always gives you what you want right after you decide you don't want it anymore. I suggest you just realize this and develop a sense of humor. It's really the only way to deal with the situation.
5. There is room to care for everyone in your heart. You just have to decide whether you are going to let them in or not. 

I've also learned a little bit about philosophy, history, physics, art, religion, chemistry, service, you know. However, the lessons learned on the list is the real reason I'm paying tuition. 

Okay, time for some Christmas cheer! :) One of the things I love most about Christmas is the way my mom decorates our house. She has these gorgeous garlands covered in lights and other pretty things that get hung throughout the main level. The first night we have those hung and our Christmas tree set up and decorated, I stay up late until everyone else is asleep. Then I go downstairs and turn all of the Christmas lights and just look around at the shadows playfully being thrown on the wall by the hundreds of light bulbs lighting up the rooms. When we have the decorations set up and there's snow on the ground, that's when I know it's Christmas!

We also have these Christmas blankets that decorate the couches and chairs in our living room. One of my first Christmas memories took place when I was sitting on one of the chairs the blanket was thrown on. I thought that those blankets were so cool. Like one of the coolest things of my life. Cooler than... cool whip! So I got my two youngest brothers and started a Christmas club with them. The main rule was when we had club meetings, we all had to be sitting on one of the blankets. I'm pretty sure we met for like three minutes and then my mom started coming down the stairs, so we playfully attacked her to preserve the secrecy of our club. And now I'm posting this on the internet. My 8 year old secretive self is killing my conscience right now! Anyways, I can't wait to go home and see all of our beautiful Christmas decorations everywhere! 

Poisoning Santa is Just Plain Rude

Pluto had this thing called the Form. Essentially, it is the perfect form of something on earth. Nothing is perfect on earth, so Forms are on some Form planet living with Form people living Form ideals. I feel like there are a lot of ideologies in the world that are just Forms. Stuff like democracy, world peace, wise time management, a chick flick that doesn't make you horribly depressed about your life, you know. They are all just theories that would make the world a better place but never going to happen. Though let's be honest. If there ever was such thing as a chick flick that makes you happy about your life, why spend time watching it? You've got it better than the movie which completely defeats the purpose. So. I've decided to give up on expecting these to ever become realities, and to embrace the world's imperfections. If the world was perfect, you wouldn't appreciate it because you wouldn't have the imperfections show you why the world is perfect. Hmm, I'm not sure that made sense. It did in my mind, so I'm keeping it. 

Next item of business: It's CHRISTMAS time. So I've decided that my posts leading up to Christmas are going to tell you my favorite parts of the season. 

1. Christmas music. Except Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph, and Jingle Bells. I think I overdosed on those songs as a child, and now I cringe whenever I hear their overly jolly tunes coming from my Pandora station. Let's just analyze Frosty for a second. First of all, who honestly cares about Frosty? He ends up melting into a puddle. What is that supposed to teach children? Oh hey, you can make friends with giant, talking, frozen chunks of H20, but he's probably going to die in a couple of days. Just FYI. And Rudolph? It doesn't matter if you are made fun of for having red noses! You will probably meet a old, fat, jolly man who will realize your full potential and make you carry him across the world once a year. It's either that or go back to being a social outcast. Okay, I'll be more positive now. My favorite Christmas songs this year though are My Grown-Up Christmas List, O Holy Night and the Nutcracker Suite. Love everything about them. :)

Yea, that's good for today. Take home lesson: Appreciate the imperfections that make your surroundings unique; if you meet a talking snowman, don't get emotionally attached to him; Josh Groban is the king of singing. I don't think I mentioned that last one yet, but now I am. So just accept it and move on! 20 days left until Christmas!

Finally, just something to start your Monday on a happy note. :)

Hey, Welcome back, Pal!!

Well… It’s been a while! I have a whole bunch of lame excuses as to why I haven’t posted in a while.


1. I have done homework. I understand this is a lame excuse, as I spend plenty time not doing homework. But I do do a lot of homework. So I’m counting it as an excuse.

2.       I have been cleaning my room. If you know me, you know how likely this excuse actually is.

3.       I have been becoming a high cuisine chef. I am now qualified to make anyone a mean bowl of cereal, grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich or apple. Yes, I make apples. From scratch.

4.       I am on a strike from all social media. If you would like this to be proven to you, go check my facebook and just try to send me an email. I refuse to answer.

5.       I’m trying to redeem myself from all of the scandalous lies I just told.

Really, I’ve just been busy. College just kind of consumes your life and so all extra little things often get put on the back burner. I do still care about keeping in touch with all of you!

So, in the last few months, great things have happened.


1.  I went home for Thanksgiving. Seriously, this was one of the best weeks of my life. My family was awesome and was really good at pretending they were so glad to have my sassy little self back inside their home. They honestly must have all taken acting classes because were so happy to see me! Regardless of how that emotion came across, I immensely enjoyed myself. I played a lot of games with my siblings, so if anyone would like to challenge me on Racko, chess, or Ticket to Ride, now would be the time to challenge me.

2.       I went home for Thanksgiving. I got to see all of my best friends I hadn’t seen in forever! I stole a pillow that had been held hostage for months, had awesome Caribou runs, went to some parks, and spent time just really enjoying everyone’s beautiful faces. 17 days and counting until I get to go home again!

3.       My home teachers gave me cake in a cup. I haven’t had it yet, but how great is that? You just stick it in the microwave and wait for two minutes and BAM! You have cake. Also, our apartment has a real legit quesadilla maker. Also way cool.

4.       I met Santa yesterday. I told him exactly what I wanted. But I’m not going to tell anyone else so if it really happens, I know he is the real Santa.

5.       Ah, life is just overall good. I love the people that are in it, how we spend our time, weekends, my roommates, my pillow, weekends, and everything else.

So that’s my life right now. I hope you have an absolute Friday. And just for the record, I woke up at 7 a.m. and had a bowl of cereal. Then I saw my friends. However, I walked to class and I do not have a rule that all of my friends have to look Norwegian. So, that’s where the similarities between Rebecca Black and I end. :) 

Garfield, Sprite, and a Little of Everything Else

Once upon a time there was a princess named Anne Katherine. She wanted three things desperately with all of her heart. First of all, she really wanted a scholarship for school her sophomore year. Her parents, the King and Queen, were very helpful in paying for college, but she knew she needed to contribute. So she worked very hard in school and wrote lots of papers with happy endings and studied painting, horseback riding, diplomacy, and how-to-ward-off-witches 101 very hard. Anne Katherine loved to sing. She sang all day, every day. Usually it was High School Musical which sometimes her roommates got sick of. But they were nice about it and would counter it with their own songs. The princess sang so much because one of her deepest desires was to get into her school’s music education program. She knew only 12 people got in every year, so she practiced her Italian love songs every day. The other thing Princess AK really wanted was a handsome young prince to come into her life. It wasn’t like she was boy deprived; she had many amazing boys she loved that she had met at her school. However, she needed someone to take her to dinner a couple times a week because she was sick of eating sandwiches for lunch and dinner every day. There are only so many times you can eat turkey and cheese and expect it to still taste delicious. But the princess knew she had been spoiled at home where her mom made her food every day, and so she tried to appreciate what she had been given. Also, she wanted a handsome young prince to help her with her Calc class she was thinking about taking next semester. It intimidated her, and she knew if she was going to take it, she would need a lot of help. She met a guy at a dance last weekend that she really liked, but before the end of the dance, she was swept away by her roommate and left before midnight. So after that dance, she never saw him again.

Once upon a time there was another girl named Ellen. She was Anne Katherine’s roommate and took very good care of Anne Katherine when she got sick. Anne Katherine really appreciated that about Ellen and loved her very much.

Once upon another time there was a guy named Herman Cain. Anne Katherine thought he was funny and funny that America was rooting for the CEO of Godfather’s Pizza. Once she went to Godfather’s Pizza when she was a child for her birthday. They gave her a giant Garfield doll. But hey, if you gave every starving child a plush Garfield and instigated the 9-9-9 plan, world hunger would be solved. Right? Right.

I'm thinking that Princess Anne Katherine could run for president if she wanted to. After all, she's come up with this brilliant idea called the 1-1-1, where each person gets one scholarship, one admittance to the program of their choice, and one handsome prince. Also, she used to be the CEO of Sprite. Clearly, she is qualified.