Laughter is the best medicine. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Therefore, if you are sick, promptly take a good dose of The Office and a piece of chocolate.
For the letter C, I decided to focus on one specific aspect of comedy: Chuck Norris jokes.
So sit back and relax, and enjoy some of my favorite Chuck Norrisisms of all time. And if you don't think that they are funny, go buy yourself some chocolate.
Chuck Norris eats through his teeth.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for obvious reasons.
Yea, that's enough.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Alphabet: I Triple Dog Dare You to Try Writing Without It.
One of the most well-known songs in the English language is the ABC's. I'm sure it helps that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has the same melody, but hey, everyone English speaking over the age of 2 can sing it. Furthermore, most people have the song memorized for the rest of their life. Reflecting on all the songs I have learned throughout the course of elementary, middle and high school, as well as college, I'm sure I only have a fraction of them still memorized. The alphabet is a national phenomenon.
So what is it that we are singing about? The alphabet is simply lines, squiggles and shapes in tandem to each other. Each of these lines represent a sound we are taught to make with our mouth. When put together, the sounds and lines combine to make words, which represent objects that we interact with. When words are put together, you gain the unique capability to not only identify objects, but express thoughts, emotions, ideas, likes and dislikes. You can ask questions and receive understanding. You can communicate with family, friends and the world. Perhaps most importantly, you can communicate with yourself.
Who decided that A would sound like ah, rather then oo, s or ch? Why does choo-choo represent the sound a train makes as it wakes you up at 3 in the morning? Why are you able to read this and comprehend what ideas I am trying to express?
I guess it doesn't matter. What does matter is we have words to symbolize the images that flash through our minds. Learning to effectively express yourself through writing and speech is a crucial ability in the world we live in. Words are power; words are the truest form of an object's essence.
Throughout the month of April, I will be participating in the <a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/2012-to-z-challenge-sign-up-list.html">A-Z challenge</a>. For you subscribers, that means your dashboard will be flooded with things that inspire me all month. Lucky you! My goal throughout this is to pick words that inspire me, inspire others, and inspire the world. Today, the alphabet inspires me; words inspire me; communication inspires me. So the question of the day is: How do you use your ability to write? If you could do one thing with your knowledge of the alphabet and the English language, what would it be?
If you know what you want to do with words, have you done it yet?
Life is good when you have a pen in hand and something to say.
Anne Katherine
So what is it that we are singing about? The alphabet is simply lines, squiggles and shapes in tandem to each other. Each of these lines represent a sound we are taught to make with our mouth. When put together, the sounds and lines combine to make words, which represent objects that we interact with. When words are put together, you gain the unique capability to not only identify objects, but express thoughts, emotions, ideas, likes and dislikes. You can ask questions and receive understanding. You can communicate with family, friends and the world. Perhaps most importantly, you can communicate with yourself.
Who decided that A would sound like ah, rather then oo, s or ch? Why does choo-choo represent the sound a train makes as it wakes you up at 3 in the morning? Why are you able to read this and comprehend what ideas I am trying to express?
I guess it doesn't matter. What does matter is we have words to symbolize the images that flash through our minds. Learning to effectively express yourself through writing and speech is a crucial ability in the world we live in. Words are power; words are the truest form of an object's essence.
Throughout the month of April, I will be participating in the <a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/2012-to-z-challenge-sign-up-list.html">A-Z challenge</a>. For you subscribers, that means your dashboard will be flooded with things that inspire me all month. Lucky you! My goal throughout this is to pick words that inspire me, inspire others, and inspire the world. Today, the alphabet inspires me; words inspire me; communication inspires me. So the question of the day is: How do you use your ability to write? If you could do one thing with your knowledge of the alphabet and the English language, what would it be?
If you know what you want to do with words, have you done it yet?
Life is good when you have a pen in hand and something to say.
Anne Katherine
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I'd Like a Definition Please
There are lots of different definitions for the word express. For example:
I took the express train home so I did not have to stare at fields of corn for extended periods of time.
I shopped at Express because I feel classy when I wear their clothes.
I expressed water as H2O in my biology project so my professor knew that I was familiar with different elements and their ability to form bonds with each other.
My roommate defied my express command to give me all of her money.
When I expressed myself by wearing a classless shirt sent in the express mail from Express, BYU sent me on the express train home despite my express wishes to stay at school without letting me turn in my paper where water was expressed as H20.
You see?
Lately, I have been increasingly grateful for the ability to express. Life is a beautiful expression of the way you see yourself. Every morning, I decide what I wear, how I speak, walk, write, sing and interact with others. When I smile at someone, it is an expression of my gratitude for them in my life or my appreciation of the dumb joke they just made.
Tangent: Speaking of dumb jokes, in the elevator after the wedding reception, I made a pee joke. I was perfectly set up. We were parked on level P2... Talk about classless.
My new theory on life is one is happiest when they feel like they are expressing themselves efficiently, beautifully and originally. No one likes to feel as if they are being misunderstood and most people I know wish to make some kind of uniquely beautiful difference in the world- whatever that may be.
I'm trying to realize what form of expression makes me most happy. Whatever it is, that should probably be what I decide to major in and do later on in life. As of right now, I wish to ride the waves in the wind, feel the sun on my face and laugh at the world. (This is obviously my desire to express my frustration with productive days that never seem to get me any further then where I was before.)Unfortunately, I am not aware of any majors that teach you how to smile. It's kind of a lesson you have to learn as you learn your other lessons.
Whatever you do, see it as an expression of who you are. What do you do? Do you appreciate and enjoy what you do? Why do you do it if you don't like it? What makes you enjoy it if you do? Whether you like it or not, what you do and how you do it is an expressly stated expression of who you are expressly trying to become.
Get it? Got it? Good.
I took the express train home so I did not have to stare at fields of corn for extended periods of time.
I shopped at Express because I feel classy when I wear their clothes.
I expressed water as H2O in my biology project so my professor knew that I was familiar with different elements and their ability to form bonds with each other.
My roommate defied my express command to give me all of her money.
When I expressed myself by wearing a classless shirt sent in the express mail from Express, BYU sent me on the express train home despite my express wishes to stay at school without letting me turn in my paper where water was expressed as H20.
You see?
Lately, I have been increasingly grateful for the ability to express. Life is a beautiful expression of the way you see yourself. Every morning, I decide what I wear, how I speak, walk, write, sing and interact with others. When I smile at someone, it is an expression of my gratitude for them in my life or my appreciation of the dumb joke they just made.
Tangent: Speaking of dumb jokes, in the elevator after the wedding reception, I made a pee joke. I was perfectly set up. We were parked on level P2... Talk about classless.
My new theory on life is one is happiest when they feel like they are expressing themselves efficiently, beautifully and originally. No one likes to feel as if they are being misunderstood and most people I know wish to make some kind of uniquely beautiful difference in the world- whatever that may be.
I'm trying to realize what form of expression makes me most happy. Whatever it is, that should probably be what I decide to major in and do later on in life. As of right now, I wish to ride the waves in the wind, feel the sun on my face and laugh at the world. (This is obviously my desire to express my frustration with productive days that never seem to get me any further then where I was before.)Unfortunately, I am not aware of any majors that teach you how to smile. It's kind of a lesson you have to learn as you learn your other lessons.
Whatever you do, see it as an expression of who you are. What do you do? Do you appreciate and enjoy what you do? Why do you do it if you don't like it? What makes you enjoy it if you do? Whether you like it or not, what you do and how you do it is an expressly stated expression of who you are expressly trying to become.
Get it? Got it? Good.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Childhood Memories from an ^Almost Adult
Life
By Benjamin Kotey
It takes a day to day to make a dream,
But it takes many nights for a seed to become a tree.
Life is a ladder that must be climbed.
But in every stage,
There are many rivers and battles to fight
And our hope determines our future.
Life is a trip through the wilderness
And everyone must survive for success.
And without a determination
We can never reach our destination.
There are many roads in life,
But choice
Stands between the broad and the narrow.
But the world is not only what we see
But what we hear
Life is time and time is tide.
We are making an endless journey
But no ladder is without an end
Problems may fall like rain
But every seed has its seasons.
~~~
Today is my last official day of childhood. I graduated high school, left home, and went grocery shopping for myself for the first time months ago. But tomorrow I will be 18 years old. The idea of being 18 seems foreign to me: I won't have to call my dad when I'm on a date at Low's because I'm not old enough to decide if I can handle jumping into giant foam pits; I won't have to have my mom tell my hairdresser that she has permission to cut my hair from 1500 miles away; I can vote; I can even elope! I probably won't, but the point is, I could.
In 24 hours, I won't be a different person then who I am today. But this upcoming age has given me a chance to reflect on my childhood memories that make Anne Katherine who she really is.
I entertained the idea that my mom was an alien for a week, laid under my piano's keyboard when I needed to clear my thoughts, and recorded jokes with my brother on a tape cassette. Lion King hyenas lived in my basement, a donkey resided under my bed who ate my blanket if they hung off the end of my bed, and an alligator escaped from the zoo, traveled through the sewer system and tried to break into my room to eat me. I remember sitting on a circle chair in Hawaii watching girls dance with ribbons to a song about lollipops. One Fourth of July, my baby blanket started on fire from a little sparkler, and some nice lady in my ward patched up the whole with a heart.
I remember sitting on my parents floor when they called us to tell us that Camille was a girl, and not the Timothy that they were expecting; I saved my pretty red and white striped dress for when I got to visit her for the very first time. Playing with bendy-fox, bendy-lion and bendy-gator on the carpet protector in our living room with Simeon and Christian. Wearing a Chinese outfit for Halloween and feeling Simeon's felt lion costume. Falling asleep every night holding Camille's hand through the crib; telling my mom that it was Camille who wanted to hold hands, but in reality, it was me who couldn't bear the thought of waking up with my sister not being there. Going to D.C. and walking into our house at the end of vacation, seeing all the presents under the tree and knowing that Santa Clause was real because my parents had been in a different state. Duct taped whiffle balls and family truth or truth games that unfailingly ended in tears. Cardboard noodles, SPAM, pickle surprises. Tag around the main level, hiding Lorenzo in a laundry bin. Locking the babysitter out of the house and Kelsey Parkinson giving us cough drops as rewards for good behavior. "Joseph Smith Hide and Go Seek," "Preach my Gospel," and family trivia. Zachary Tyler. Queen Jane. Percy Jackson. Fielding falling asleep in my arms for the very first time. 6 years later, helping him read the Magic Tree House books. Text audits by the parents where they learn about their daughter's dating life. Sneaking into Abe's room when he was crying in the middle of the night because I was sick of hearing him scream and my parents were training him to sleep through the night. My mom catching me.Threatening my mom that I would quit piano; her responding that it was my choice, fully knowing that I never would.
Becoming friends with Angie because of an offer to bring the croutons to a salad. Going to primary in the Andover Ward for the first time, and desperately wanting Nick notice me as much as I noticed him. Meeting Lexi on the first day of 8th grade and wanting to someday be as friendly as she was. Weight training with Andrea sophomore year and developing an awesome friendship as we lifted and skipped running days. Jenna inviting me to a sleepover at her house for the first time for freshman year homecoming. Singing Sk8r Boi on the monkey bars with Marissa in fifth grade. Walks home with Brittney. Playing ultimate with Ellen, climbing over dressers with Shemaina. APUSH with Grant and Joe, chemistry with Max and Tom. Phil's "tooth hurty" jokes, Jack's Al Gore imitations. Plan Las Vegas at that one park with Marc. Beth's inventive hanger purses. Awkward lunch conversations in Nauvoo with Kevin, Jake and Chad. Pretty and witty Bennett sisters, backstage moments and Caribou runs with the theater kids. Tater tots and eye candy with the best choir nerds in Minnesota. Learning from my roommate's signature dance moves. Rachael's celebration of life. Prolly having well grammar with Brad and Austin. Zeegan and Greg's Iowa-Utah caucus confusion.
Skipping kindergarten, winning my first piano competition, making all-state, being the Witch, graduating from high school, getting Personal Progress, attending BYU.
Sister, daughter, student, musician, thinker, prayer, joker, creator, philosopher, friend, best friend.
This is who I am. I am inspired by the thousands of people that have influenced and nurtured me, laughed with me, and prayed with me. I hope that in the next 18 years, I will be able to take everything you have taught me and start to apply it to the world. I wish to make as much difference on others as you have on me.
To laughing, to loving, to living.
AK
~~~
By Benjamin Kotey
It takes a day to day to make a dream,
But it takes many nights for a seed to become a tree.
Life is a ladder that must be climbed.
But in every stage,
There are many rivers and battles to fight
And our hope determines our future.
Life is a trip through the wilderness
And everyone must survive for success.
And without a determination
We can never reach our destination.
There are many roads in life,
But choice
Stands between the broad and the narrow.
But the world is not only what we see
But what we hear
Life is time and time is tide.
We are making an endless journey
But no ladder is without an end
Problems may fall like rain
But every seed has its seasons.
~~~
Today is my last official day of childhood. I graduated high school, left home, and went grocery shopping for myself for the first time months ago. But tomorrow I will be 18 years old. The idea of being 18 seems foreign to me: I won't have to call my dad when I'm on a date at Low's because I'm not old enough to decide if I can handle jumping into giant foam pits; I won't have to have my mom tell my hairdresser that she has permission to cut my hair from 1500 miles away; I can vote; I can even elope! I probably won't, but the point is, I could.
In 24 hours, I won't be a different person then who I am today. But this upcoming age has given me a chance to reflect on my childhood memories that make Anne Katherine who she really is.
I entertained the idea that my mom was an alien for a week, laid under my piano's keyboard when I needed to clear my thoughts, and recorded jokes with my brother on a tape cassette. Lion King hyenas lived in my basement, a donkey resided under my bed who ate my blanket if they hung off the end of my bed, and an alligator escaped from the zoo, traveled through the sewer system and tried to break into my room to eat me. I remember sitting on a circle chair in Hawaii watching girls dance with ribbons to a song about lollipops. One Fourth of July, my baby blanket started on fire from a little sparkler, and some nice lady in my ward patched up the whole with a heart.
I remember sitting on my parents floor when they called us to tell us that Camille was a girl, and not the Timothy that they were expecting; I saved my pretty red and white striped dress for when I got to visit her for the very first time. Playing with bendy-fox, bendy-lion and bendy-gator on the carpet protector in our living room with Simeon and Christian. Wearing a Chinese outfit for Halloween and feeling Simeon's felt lion costume. Falling asleep every night holding Camille's hand through the crib; telling my mom that it was Camille who wanted to hold hands, but in reality, it was me who couldn't bear the thought of waking up with my sister not being there. Going to D.C. and walking into our house at the end of vacation, seeing all the presents under the tree and knowing that Santa Clause was real because my parents had been in a different state. Duct taped whiffle balls and family truth or truth games that unfailingly ended in tears. Cardboard noodles, SPAM, pickle surprises. Tag around the main level, hiding Lorenzo in a laundry bin. Locking the babysitter out of the house and Kelsey Parkinson giving us cough drops as rewards for good behavior. "Joseph Smith Hide and Go Seek," "Preach my Gospel," and family trivia. Zachary Tyler. Queen Jane. Percy Jackson. Fielding falling asleep in my arms for the very first time. 6 years later, helping him read the Magic Tree House books. Text audits by the parents where they learn about their daughter's dating life. Sneaking into Abe's room when he was crying in the middle of the night because I was sick of hearing him scream and my parents were training him to sleep through the night. My mom catching me.Threatening my mom that I would quit piano; her responding that it was my choice, fully knowing that I never would.
Becoming friends with Angie because of an offer to bring the croutons to a salad. Going to primary in the Andover Ward for the first time, and desperately wanting Nick notice me as much as I noticed him. Meeting Lexi on the first day of 8th grade and wanting to someday be as friendly as she was. Weight training with Andrea sophomore year and developing an awesome friendship as we lifted and skipped running days. Jenna inviting me to a sleepover at her house for the first time for freshman year homecoming. Singing Sk8r Boi on the monkey bars with Marissa in fifth grade. Walks home with Brittney. Playing ultimate with Ellen, climbing over dressers with Shemaina. APUSH with Grant and Joe, chemistry with Max and Tom. Phil's "tooth hurty" jokes, Jack's Al Gore imitations. Plan Las Vegas at that one park with Marc. Beth's inventive hanger purses. Awkward lunch conversations in Nauvoo with Kevin, Jake and Chad. Pretty and witty Bennett sisters, backstage moments and Caribou runs with the theater kids. Tater tots and eye candy with the best choir nerds in Minnesota. Learning from my roommate's signature dance moves. Rachael's celebration of life. Prolly having well grammar with Brad and Austin. Zeegan and Greg's Iowa-Utah caucus confusion.
Skipping kindergarten, winning my first piano competition, making all-state, being the Witch, graduating from high school, getting Personal Progress, attending BYU.
Sister, daughter, student, musician, thinker, prayer, joker, creator, philosopher, friend, best friend.
This is who I am. I am inspired by the thousands of people that have influenced and nurtured me, laughed with me, and prayed with me. I hope that in the next 18 years, I will be able to take everything you have taught me and start to apply it to the world. I wish to make as much difference on others as you have on me.
To laughing, to loving, to living.
AK
~~~
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
But If Life Were Made of Moments,
Then we'd never known we had one.
Moments from today:
1. I have this theory that everyone resembles some kind of animal. Therefore, the person you are most romantically compatible with will resemble animals in the same family or group. Today, it was decided that I was a raccoon.
I thought about posting a picture of myself after the raccoon so you could truly see the resemblance, but I thought that would be detrimental to my self esteem. I'm currently making a poster to place around campus reading, "WANTED: Any single male that resembles this picture. Average GPA of 3.5, 6'2" and relatively normal is preferred. Reward negotiable."
I'm thinking a fair reward would be an eternity of good dinners. Maybe 10 unarguable diaper changes? If he's really raccoony, I might consider consenting to an engagement before my 18th birthday. We'll see who shows up.
Moment 2: Right in the middle of when I was using the restroom in the HFAC, my stall door swung open.
Apparently, the HFAC bathroom locks are not as secure as they would like to have you believe. Luckily I noticed my predicament before anyone else did. Needless to say, I will not be using those toilets for a long time.
Moment 3: I'm packing up after biology when a guy walks up and starts talking to me for the first time. This is how it went:
"So we were on the bio website at the same time and I saw your name. My dad wanted me to ask you if you have any relatives that served a mission in Taiwan."
*Let's talk about this for a second. I have never seen this kid before, much less talked to him. Despite this, he knows my first and last name and when I'm taking bio quizzes. He went to enough trouble to look me up on some BYU directory to figure out what I looked like. Assuming his story is true, he then happened to bring up my name to his father in casual conversation, who asked him to ask me if I knew a guy from his mission.*
"Ahhh.. I have no idea."
"Well, you should ask your dad and tell me next class!"
So Dad. Anyone you know serve in Taiwan? I'm really eager to sit next to him and find out what else he's managed to find out about me in the first two weeks of class. Please get back to me as soon as possible.
Moment 4: I found this:
I just really had my mind blown. Not all the way... Just like a big gust of wind just went in one ear and out the other.
Also,
I don't really have anything to top that.
Goodnight.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Deep Subject Matter
Sometimes life is hard. I guess I didn't expect all of college to be peaches and cream, sunbursts and roses, but I never thought about it being truly hard. Don't get me wrong, last semester classes were difficult. Taking 17 credits the first semester may have been a tad overkill, but academic performance is something I can control. I didn't have to worry about roommate problems, depression, sickness, or anything that would make being emotional stable seem harder then avoiding every RM on campus. All in all, I got lulled into the "happy bubble" Provo, Utah offers to its college students.
I guess what this really comes down to is even when you are doing the right things, Heavenly Father gives you trials to help you grow, become more compassionate, learn things about yourself and draw closer to Him. The last couple of weeks I've had to spend a lot of time in prayer, at the temple, reading scriptures and fasting to try to get my will in accordance with His. What I've learned is one of the most basic spiritual lessons taught: patience is a virtue. You can ask, plead and beg for answers, but God gives them when you need to receive answers. If Heavenly Father had given me the answer I was asking for right away, I would have lost a great opportunity to draw closer to Him and better understand His personality. Instead, the Spirit has given me promptings and directions in the quiet moments of life over the last couple of weeks. I still don't know everything the Lord wants from me, but I'm definitely on the way to knowing.
So this is my inspiration of the week: I know the Lord knows each of us individually. I know he hears my prayers and I know that he knows my personality better than I do. He is watching over my life and waiting for me to let him in. He desperately wants each one of us to open our lives to him and receive the guidance, direction, protection, love, and help the Spirit gives. I know that Jesus atoned for each of our sins in Gethsemane so that we can repent of our sins, improve, and return someday to live with our Heavenly Father, Mother, and brother Jesus Christ. I know that the scriptures are the key to understanding the Lord's will. Every verse of scripture was written for us and can give us inspiration when we let the Spirit into our lives. I love the Lord, and I hope that when I meet him face to face, I will be able to look back on my life and see that I was able to be used as an instrument of the Lord. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ has been restored by Joseph Smith. I have a firm testimony that this church brings true peace and happiness to all who immerse themselves in it. I have received witness after witness that my Savior knows and loves me, as well as all of his spirit sons and daughters.
The last thing I know is that Heavenly Father has placed us into families very specifically and purposefully. He has given us parents that we need to learn specific lessons from. The family is the unit of society, and never before has Satan been so successful at attacking the family. Besides my relationship with Christ, my relationship with my family is what gives me strength. Families can be together forever when sealed in the temple, and that is one of the most beautiful components of the gospel.
Life is hard. But living life without the support of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and my family would make it much harder. I believe, and will live like I believe. That's the only way I can possibly express gratitude to one who has given me all that I have.
So this is my inspiration of the week: I know the Lord knows each of us individually. I know he hears my prayers and I know that he knows my personality better than I do. He is watching over my life and waiting for me to let him in. He desperately wants each one of us to open our lives to him and receive the guidance, direction, protection, love, and help the Spirit gives. I know that Jesus atoned for each of our sins in Gethsemane so that we can repent of our sins, improve, and return someday to live with our Heavenly Father, Mother, and brother Jesus Christ. I know that the scriptures are the key to understanding the Lord's will. Every verse of scripture was written for us and can give us inspiration when we let the Spirit into our lives. I love the Lord, and I hope that when I meet him face to face, I will be able to look back on my life and see that I was able to be used as an instrument of the Lord. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ has been restored by Joseph Smith. I have a firm testimony that this church brings true peace and happiness to all who immerse themselves in it. I have received witness after witness that my Savior knows and loves me, as well as all of his spirit sons and daughters.
The last thing I know is that Heavenly Father has placed us into families very specifically and purposefully. He has given us parents that we need to learn specific lessons from. The family is the unit of society, and never before has Satan been so successful at attacking the family. Besides my relationship with Christ, my relationship with my family is what gives me strength. Families can be together forever when sealed in the temple, and that is one of the most beautiful components of the gospel.
Life is hard. But living life without the support of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and my family would make it much harder. I believe, and will live like I believe. That's the only way I can possibly express gratitude to one who has given me all that I have.
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